Glossary of Terms

I will be providing explanations of the more abstract terms that I use in my writings. I realize that I make up half the vocabulary in my blogs. That is why I feel compelled to translate for you. Welcome to the wonderful world of Language Evolution, PB style.

Ad Hockery:  An impromptu activity or action, sprouting from an individual or group’s creative spirit. Can be impressive like Pan’s improvised show but can also be disastrous or worse: mediocre. Usually used to describe something jovial, not a spontaneous stoning of sinners, for example.

Biffstrassette: This is a highly specific, highly specialized appointment. The Biffstrassette is she who manages the affairs of her Hunky one. She is involved in important decision making, profound discussions of life goals, academic goals, health goals etc, as well as administering pep talks. It is the job of the Biffstrassette to remind her Hunky one during moments of stress or relaxation, as the case may be, that he is the sexiest, sweetest, most intelligent, talented, and loving hunk whoever crossed her path and smudged her glasses.

 

Decoy Snacks: Snacks that are not particularly tasty but look appealing when trapped in a vehicle. They are offered to the other passengers thereby occupying their mouths and minds, and leaving you free to enjoy the tastier treats. It is helpful to pack all snacks in easily accessible bags of similar shape and size. This will prevent others from realizing that they are eating inferior snacks.

 

T minus [insert amount of time]: This is a sports term. I think. It is a countdown for the start of a sporting event or aspect of a game. I do not claim to know anything about sports. However, I have no qualms about using their jargon wherever I see fit, whether it is an appropriate usage or not. “T minus” measures the time until my next round of kisses from Hunky. For those of you who don’t think kissing is a sport, you’re doing something wrong.